Monday, May 1, 2017

This Mother's Day - Dinner #75

     Happy May 1st! Wow . . . When did that happen?!  I’ve been a pregnant Mama during so many Mays, in our marriage – but not this May.  This Mother’s Day, I won’t be feeling morning sickness, or experiencing the discomfort of Braxton Hicks, or finding myself only a week away from actual labor . . . I’ll be thanking God for my 4 little girls, and thinking fondly of my little boy in Heaven . . . I’ll be praying for God’s continued healing of my “Mommy heart”, and for more physical healing, as well . . .
     You learn so many things when you walk down the road of a 2nd. Trimester miscarriage . . . One is how very long it can take your body to “go back to normal” . . . It can be rather rough, rather painful, and rather emotional, as you face the sometimes daily reminders that your womb is empty.  Your heart may have healed SO much – you may have “come SO far” – but, physically, you’re still just “not there” yet . . .
     But God can give you grace, God can give you strength, and, sometimes, God can even take you to the other side of the world! Yes! We were ABLE to go to Indonesia! SMILE! And oh, what a blessed trip that was!  God truly “grew our heart”, and gave us His joy and His peace, in being there!  Now, here we are, back in the States, and ready to continue our training! Our week of “candidate school” is in June! And in the meantime, we’ve been working on everything from prayer card photos, to a video presentation script, and answering questions about our trip to Indonesia, in-between. SMILE!  We’ve been cuddling our girls, and making a special point about “family time”, while finishing goals for our homeschooling year, and thinking in the back of our minds about packing things up and selling certain pieces of furniture . . .  
     My heart is on “cloud 9”, and my heart is in a whirlwind, and, yet, “my heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed . . ..” Psalm 57:7
     This is certainly a time in our lives for letting Christ be all that we need, and for realizing He is enough!

Hebrews 13:5 “ . . . be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

   In a devotional I read, recently, a missionary wife said, “Sometimes we aren’t content because we look back to see what ‘we’re missing’.” It made me think about Lot’s wife, who was more concerned for what and who she’d left behind, than in fully obeying God. 

“ . . . look not behind thee . . .” (Gen. 19:17) “But his wife looked back . . .” (Gen. 19:26)

“And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62)


     Do I worry about the future? Yes, I worry! But I pray I don’t “look back!”  By God’s grace, we keep moving forward.  By His grace, we persevere. My hope is in “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.” (Hebrews 13:8)  And He is “all I need” . . . 

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Hopeful Thinking - Dinner #74

    In January, I found myself so often clinging to verses about healing, rest, and comfort.  In February, there were many verses on having hope and not fear.  Psalm 16:9 preciously linked the two, in my heart“ . . . my flesh also shall rest in hope.”  There can be many fears after a miscarriage, regarding future pregnancies.  There can be many fears concerning cutting-ties with a family’s income, and starting deputation.  There can be many fears about taking your little ones to the other side of the world.  But God’s Word reassures me that I can “Trust in him at all times . . . (and) pour out your heart before him . . .” (Psalm 62:8)  God knows my heart; He knows my fears.  Because of Christ, I can be counted as one “Who against hope believed in hope . . .” (Romans 4:18) Even when things seem doubtful, I need not fear. 

     Romans 15 has some powerful verses for an often-pessimistically- practical person, such as myself.  You see, sometimes “being realistic”, can be the enemy of “having faith” or “having hope”.  The Bible says,  “ . . . that we through patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.  Now the God of patience and consolation . . . Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.”  He is the “God of patience and consolation” and “the God of hope”, and He wants ME to “abound in hope”!

     How do I come by such hope?  Do I muster it up within myself and just seek to become a more optimistic “it will all work out” kind of person?  No! Psalm 146:5 declares “Happy is he . . . whose hope is in the LORD his God.” My hope is founded in my Savior!  “ . . . that we through patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope” (Romans 15:4) My hope is founded in the Word of God! “ . . . that ye may abound in hope through the power of the Holy Ghost.” (Romans 15:13) Such abounding hope comes through the power of God’s Holy Spirit! I cannot be thus hopeful on my own. 

     Acts 4:13 says, “ . . . and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus.”  By my actions and my words, do my husband and my girls know that I’ve “been with Jesus”? Or do I live a life of fear and trepidation? Is there any kind of difference, when I emerge from my quiet time with God?  Have I left all fears aside, and emerged a more HOPEFUL person, because of WHO my hope is founded in?  “ . . . until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come.” (Psalm 71:18)  If we do this – trusting God for deputation, for future babies, for our finances, etc. – even our daughters may see God’s strength and His power in our lives. 

     In Psalm 71, David declares, “But I will hope continually . . .” Hope and not fear! This is a SPIRITUAL resolve! Not a mustered-up will-power, but a determination founded on the right things – God Himself, His Word, and the power of God’s Holy Spirit. 

     Thinking on these things, in recent months, I compiled a list before the Lord.  This is from my heart, Ladies.  This is my prayer:

·         I will hope that God will give us life and not loss . . .

·         I will hope that we will be safe on the road during deputation . . .

·         I will hope that we will raise the support to go to Indonesia . . .

·         I will hope that my blood sugar issues will not hinder us . . .

·         I will hope that we will still have homeschooling and parenting successes, while on the road . . .

·         I will hope that our children will make many friends all over the U.S. and the world . . .

·         I will hope that Brandon and I will stay romantic and fiercely in love, amid the challenges . . .

·         I will hope for strength in my weakness, peace in my fears, and victories on every side . . .

·         I will hope for good attitudes, gracious words, and God-given opportunities to be witnesses of God’s love and of His work in our lives . . .

·         I will hope that others will desire to love and reach Muslims, because of God’s call on our lives . . .

And most recently . . .

·         I will hope that the flu leaves our household very soon! SMILE!

With God’s help, “I will hope continually, and will yet praise . . . (Him) . . . more and more.”

And “I will go . . .” (71:15) I will go overseas with the Gospel of Christ, because my hope is in Jesus Christ!

“For thou art my hope, O LORD GOD: thou art my trust from my youth.” (71:5)

“ . . . God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty . . .” (I Corinthians 1:27)

“Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea . . .” (Psalm 46:2)

I WILL hope . . . I WILL go . . . I WILL NOT fear . . . Spiritual resolve and hopeful thinking . . .

We ALL need hope in our lives.  “Happy is he . . . whose hope is in the LORD his God.” (Psalm 146:5)





Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Healing & Trusting

Ecclesiastes 3:4 tells us that there is “A time to weep . . . a time to mourn . . .”  It is hard to explain all that God has brought us through during the past six weeks . . . In some ways, these weeks have been some of the longest in my life . . . The ups and downs in spirit . . . Such waves of weeping and peace . . . Feeling strong, and then feeling weak . . .  But, as our Pastor preached on, New Year’s morning, our Lord has left us His Comforter!  (John 14:6) And how thankful we are, that He did!  Psalm 71:21 declares, “Thou shalt . . . comfort me on every side.” And how faithfully He has done that!  Through His Word, through the prayers of His people, through song . . . Psalm 147:3 “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”  This month of January has been a month of learning about God’s precious healing – a time like I have never known in any other stage of my life.  So many afternoons, I’ve sat on my bed, with my Bible, a hymnal, a journal, and a ladies’ devotional book, and felt God re-wrapping the bandages on my heart.

Isaiah 53:4 “Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows . . .” My Lord KNOWS, and He CARES . . . Through the alternating gloom and sunlight, I can pray the words of the beautiful hymn, “When life’s dark maze I tread, And griefs around me spread, Be Thou my Guide; Bid darkness turn to day, Wipe sorrow’s tears away, Nor let me ever stray From Thee aside . . .”
Sometimes, I have been much weaker than I expected to be – both emotionally and physically.  But I try to say, along with the apostle Paul, “Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities . . . for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” (II Cor. 12:10) I do thank God for these past several weeks in our home – even with cold viruses, and the like - snuggles and school with my girls; special projects and memories; being spiritually comforted, healed, and fed . . .
Even as our Healer, God knows best.  The Bible tells us, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.” (Isaiah 55:8)  This was my verse for Joshua, since the very first day we knew we were pregnant with him. In my human mind, despite our grieving and our physically recovering from a delivery of this kind, I thought we would be on a plane headed for Indonesia, come January or February – but that does not seem to be our Heavenly Father’s plan for us.
Psalm 143:10 “Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good . . .”

Psalm 145:9 “The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.”

Psalm 145:17 “The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works.”

Even when we do not understand . . .

Our support for this trip was raised in a remarkable amount of time. Brandon had an approval for all the vacation days he needed.  We were at a good point in our pregnancy for safely flying that distance, and everything appeared fine . . . But then we found out that God had wanted our little boy in Heaven with Him, and everything changed . . . As most of you now know, we found ourselves delivering him, shortly before Christmas.  It became necessary to cancel our original tickets, because three weeks later was not nearly enough time to recover for such an important flight, half-way around the world . . . Then we encountered the paperwork, and the phone calls, and the emails, as we tried to get things sorted out with our travel agency.  Our host missionary wife had to suddenly make an unexpected trip back to the States, for an unknown duration . . . And present world events began making it more unsafe to fly with certain airlines or to have lay-overs in certain countries . . . The emotional strain has been difficult.  Every time we’ve thought, “We can go!”, God has said “No!”, and every time we’ve thought, “We’re ready now!”, God has said “Wait!”  But the Lord is GOOD, and His “. . . tender mercies are over all his works.” Even when we do not understand . . .

Ecclesiastes 3:11 promises us, “He hath made everything beautiful in his time . . .”  God knows!  Perhaps, we will be on a plane, only a couple of months from now! Or, perhaps, we will have to wait until after missionary candidate school . . .  Or, perhaps . . . “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.”  We must surrender every detail to Him. 

Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

Even Joshua’s death . . . even our trip plans needing to be changed . . . ALL things – our verse for our wedding and our marriage still working itself out in our lives . . .

I have been reading through the book of Joshua in my Bible, this month, while thinking about the man of God we named our son after.  Joshua 1:13 says, “. . . The LORD your God hath given you rest, and hath given you this land.”  I believe with all my heart, that, just as God has been giving us His rest, He will also, one day, allow us to actually set foot in Indonesia. But it will be in GOD’S TIMING, and not our own . . . SMILE! 

When the Israelites came to the Jordan River, God gave them a dry path, right in the midst of it.  With water held back, on either side, they knew the path they should take, and it was dry and plain to them.  In the book of Psalms, David prayed, “Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path.” (Psalm 27:11) This is where we currently are, My Friends – feeling God’s healing, finding God faithful, praying for feet that are ever-ready to step into “the brink of Jordan”, and waiting to see God continue to do wonderful things in our lives.  

We thank God for the encouraging prayers and words of His people – We thank God for EACH OF YOU! God Bless.

With Our Love in Christ,

Kristen