When our deputation
ministry began, we traveled together as a family and sought to hold onto as
much routine as possible. From one
destination to the next, we learned what worked well for us – material for
children’s classes, medleys for special music, activities for hotel rooms . . .
Now, for the
first time on this journey, we are blessed with a newborn in our lives. A “rainbow” long worried over, and prayed for,
and anticipated. She’s here! Beautiful, long-limbed, and with such a head
of soft, feathery hair. We all love her
so! But newborns do cry and bring lack
of sleep. Babies need to be changed and
nursed frequently. Infants create
multiple loads of laundry. And somehow
adding this newness to an already hectic lifestyle has left me feeling like a
stunned deer in the headlights. How do I
DO this?!
One evening, as I tried to navigate my way through church conversations, in an exhausted daze, a single word suddenly popped into my mind – UNRAVELED. It was as though the order and routine I had known up until this point was coming apart at the seams. The thread was being pulled out longer and longer, right before my very eyes.
It is
difficult giving a missions testimony when the baby wakes up as soon as she
hears Mommy’s voice. Speaking to ladies
about my book, while an infant wails on my shoulder, fighting gas bubbles, is a
little less than ideal. Trying to fit in
a lengthy feeding, before a church service starts, can be emotional at best.
God is
beginning to stitch something new – I know He is! - A beautiful pattern
involving a family of seven. Slowly, the
embroidery of a calm life is returning to us, but some days, the tapestry looks
messy to my human eyes. All I can see is the unraveled string. “. . .
when my heart is overwhelmed”, O Lord, please “lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” (Psalm 61:2)
I bow my
head and cry, “I can’t do this without You, Lord!” The simple fact of the
matter is, I can’t do ANYTHING without Him – not the difficult days, nor the
seemingly easy ones either. As Christ says in John chapter 15, “. . . for without me ye can do nothing.” Not a single thing.
Whether the
stitches are unraveled, or every stitch seems exactly in its proper place, I NEED the Lord! ALL of the time! And I can do this. The meetings, the traveling, the long newborn
days and nights . . . “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13)
My Heavenly
Father does not leave me helpless. The
Bible says, “He giveth power to the
faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.” (Isaiah
40:29) I am in need of that extra measure
of strength, right now. Are you? May we seek
Him together and ever find Him faithful.
