Happy May 1st! Wow . . . When did that happen?! I’ve been a pregnant Mama during so many Mays, in our marriage – but not this May. This Mother’s Day, I won’t be feeling morning sickness, or experiencing the discomfort of Braxton Hicks, or finding myself only a week away from actual labor . . . I’ll be thanking God for my 4 little girls, and thinking fondly of my little boy in Heaven . . . I’ll be praying for God’s continued healing of my “Mommy heart”, and for more physical healing, as well . . .
You learn so many things when you walk down the road of a 2nd. Trimester miscarriage . . . One is how very long it can take your body to “go back to normal” . . . It can be rather rough, rather painful, and rather emotional, as you face the sometimes daily reminders that your womb is empty. Your heart may have healed SO much – you may have “come SO far” – but, physically, you’re still just “not there” yet . . .
But God can give you grace, God can give you strength, and, sometimes, God can even take you to the other side of the world! Yes! We were ABLE to go to Indonesia! SMILE! And oh, what a blessed trip that was! God truly “grew our heart”, and gave us His joy and His peace, in being there! Now, here we are, back in the States, and ready to continue our training! Our week of “candidate school” is in June! And in the meantime, we’ve been working on everything from prayer card photos, to a video presentation script, and answering questions about our trip to Indonesia, in-between. SMILE! We’ve been cuddling our girls, and making a special point about “family time”, while finishing goals for our homeschooling year, and thinking in the back of our minds about packing things up and selling certain pieces of furniture . . .
My heart is on “cloud 9”, and my heart is in a whirlwind, and, yet, “my heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed . . ..” Psalm 57:7
This is certainly a time in our lives for letting Christ be all that we need, and for realizing He is enough!
Hebrews 13:5 “ . . . be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”
In a devotional I read, recently, a missionary wife said, “Sometimes we aren’t content because we look back to see what ‘we’re missing’.” It made me think about Lot’s wife, who was more concerned for what and who she’d left behind, than in fully obeying God.
“ . . . look not behind thee . . .” (Gen. 19:17) “But his wife looked back . . .” (Gen. 19:26)
“And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62)
Do I worry about the future? Yes, I worry! But I pray I don’t “look back!” By God’s grace, we keep moving forward. By His grace, we persevere. My hope is in “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.” (Hebrews 13:8) And He is “all I need” . . .