What were the days like, when it was just you and your husband? Can you remember? Do you feel extremely close and “connected” with your husband, right now? When was the last time you truly felt like singing the words of Song of Solomon, “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine . . .” (Song of Solomon 6:2)?
A few days ago, I posted the following “status” on Facebook:
“Brandon and I were apart from each other, the majority of our dating and engagement years . . . Our first baby was born just one day after our 1st. wedding anniversary . . . We've had four baby girls in the past five years . . . Our story is beautiful, but very different than most! How grateful I am to the Lord for a loving husband who always seeks to safeguard our relationship, and make time for US! Home from our 6-Year-Anniversary second Honeymoon at Crystal Coast's Atlantic Beach . . . We had an AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL time, and made so many special memories, just the two of us! Photos to come . . .”
And when I DID go through all the photos, I wanted to cry . . . And cry some more . . . How could just 3 days and 2 nights away with the Love of My Life be so incredibly special?!
I can hear some of you ladies saying right now, “I’m jealous!” and “You have 4 little ones – 2 of which are still in diapers – How can YOU afford to go on a mini vacation?!” I think the far better question is “How can we afford NOT to?!” When Satan wants more than anything to wreck godly marriages and destroy that symbol of the love that Christ has for His church, how can we NEGLECT the building of that special relationship with our spouse?!
Priscila Shirer, the main actress in the recent Christian film “War Room”, wrote a book on prayer for ladies, in which she said of Satan, “He wants you miserable and exhausted and joyless and undone. He wants that picture of the gospel – that one you call your marriage and your family – he wants it tarnished. Ripped up. Smeared in the mud of failure . . . As much as the Father loves and embodies unity, your enemy loves and embodies division. Wherever discord is present, he’s never too far away.” Do we ever really realize how SERIOUS this all is? I have personally known far too many Christian couples who have separated or divorced . . . I have heard far too many couples tell me that they went, literally, DECADES, without having a night away from their children, during their early years of marriage . . . God WANTS you to have a strong relationship with your spouse! He is The One Who lovingly DESIGNED marriage! And I truly believe He honors our desire to “run away” with our spouse – and He provides! Just as He provides for every single baby that enters your family, He can provide what you need to strengthen your marriage, as well!
The truth of the matter is, when you have children, that “alone time” ISN’T something that is “in the budget”! It NEVER is! And in all honesty, we returned from our vacation to menus of baked beans, quinoa, and tortillas with cheese! LOL! Why? Because this was something that my husband had on his heart to do FOR US! And we NEEDED it! And it was WONDERFUL! And you know what? The baked beans and quinoa mean far fewer dishes, for me, now that I’m back in the world of potty-training! LOL! I mean it! God has taken care of everything, and we have been BLESSED!
Really, it is my husband who should be writing this blog post. Ever since our first baby came along, it has been his vision for us that we get away – at least once a year – for at least one night. I think sometimes we forget how VITAL it is to SPEND TIME with our husbands! Not time where the children are vying for our attention, or getting out of bed every ten minutes asking for “more water” or “another hug” . . . Time AWAY! When was the last time you RAN AWAY with the Man of Your Dreams? “My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.” (Song of Solomon 2:10) No children, no food to prepare, no dishes . . . Just THE TWO OF YOU . . .
This could easily become a “how to” article, involving tips on saving money, finding willing babysitters, or praying for maternal peace when it comes time to pull out of the driveway . . . But I don’t wish for it to become that. Rather, I hope this will be like a letter, URGING you to safeguard the relationship you have with your husband!
I recently read a short post, where a mother with 9 children ended up being slammed in the comments section, below it, because of her remark that she didn’t think she could live without her children being around her. It is a BALANCE. We LOVE our children – without a doubt – most of the hours of our day (and sometimes even our night) revolve around them! We OUGHT to find joy in the “ministry of motherhood” the Lord has given to us! We OUGHT to feel a sadness over the thought of ever losing them or leaving them behind! But we also need to be alright with RUNNING AWAY! Not because our daily “Mommy Life” is “horrible”, but because we want our MARRIAGE to be BEAUTIFUL! Because we mustn’t pray that our marriage will be blessed, and then leave it to fend for itself! I Peter 5:8 “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.”
You won’t find an example in the Bible of a couple getting away by themselves for a date night, I’m afraid . . . but the principles of STRENGTHENING YOUR MARRIAGE are there! In Deuteronomy 24:5, God instructs the newlywed husbands that they must not even “go out to war” or be “charged with any business” for the whole first year of their marriage! – Why? Because marriage is a BUILDING PROCESS! And it IS IMPORTANT TO GOD! Marriage is a symbol of Christ’s relationship with the church . . . Ephesians 5:23-25 “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it . . .” If it is vital that we spend time alone with God, isn’t it also vital that we spend time alone with our spouse? Ephesians 4:27 declares, “Neither give place to the devil.” Don’t give the devil any room to destroy your homes or your marriages, Ladies! It isn’t easy to “run away” . . . there’s “pinching pennies”, and cooking ahead, and cleaning, and packing – but it is EVER SO WORTH IT! Don’t wait until your children are grown, merely HOPING your marriage makes it through the grueling days of child-rearing! Your husband NEEDS YOU! And YOU NEED HIM! Be willing to RUN AWAY!