My Charlotte Baby turns a year old, tomorrow, and I am SO very excited about “all things butterfly”, right now! Brandon and I came across a darling butterfly onesie for her to wear at her party, and then Auntie Ashley bought her an adorable butterfly costume to go along with it – complete with wings and a wand. SMILE! The older girls and I made finger-painted butterflies to hang off the pretty white railing in the kitchen . . . I have bulletin-board-style “books” on the wall, representing each of the classics I’ve posed her with, as she’s grown a month older . . . You’d think she was our first! But EACH baby is special in our home! When I look back, we never would have decided on our own to have two babies just 15 months apart, but God had better plans – beautiful plans – “Butterfly Plans” . . . Charlotte Allison has filled our home with such sunshine! Such sunshine we would have missed if we had “planned” our babies, rather than being BLESSED by them!
I know I amuse the masses, when a 4’10” woman walks through the grocery store, pushing 2 carts, completely loaded down with 4 children and 2-weeks-worth of food and diapers. I realize there are many who think we “ended up” with this many babies, because we were “trying” for a boy . . . Or, perhaps, because we are somehow uneducated regarding birth control . . . A sweet friend recently commented to me that she didn’t realize I’d gone as far as “Advanced Mathematics” in high school . . . There’s a lot that people don’t know about me when they see me with my Little Crew . . . My Magna Cum Laude honors in college, the unpublished poems and works of historical fiction on my shelf, the detailed scrapbooks I designed in my teens and early 20s . . . Right now, I’m “Mommy” more hours of the day than any other role. But I haven’t “lost my identity” . . . I know that one day, some activities will return to my life again. And so much of who I am and what I enjoy IS being used, even during this stage of life – just in different ways than they were before. It is the same way with you! Somewhere down the line, you learned how to keep on going, even on very few hours of sleep. You acquired skills that help you document your home schooling, organize everything from toys to socks, and plan weekly meals for your family. You can decorate for a birthday party or host a holiday celebration. There are so many personal touches that make your house a home. You are WHO GOD MADE YOU TO BE! Having a family doesn’t change that!
But the devil likes to make us feel lost, overwhelmed, and uncertain of who we really are. He feeds us the world’s philosophy that children are a burden, and that having “too many” makes our life meaningless and leaves us miserable. Does it feel wonderful to put on a fancy dress and to have time for bobby pins, once in a while? Of course it does! Do you sometimes feel as though you’re getting a breath of fresh air, when you put on make-up and remember you have a pair of heels that actually MATCHES the dress you’re wearing?! Absolutely! But you haven’t “lost yourself” in this realm of motherhood! I promise you! You are someone incredibly special and important – to your husband, to your children, and to your Savior! Seeing the dishes filling the sink and overflowing onto the countertops may bring you to tears, tonight, but you are a DAUGHTER OF THE KING! “And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ . . .” (Romans 8:17). You are UNIQUE! Yes, YOU! The precious Mama who changed 10 diapers, today, and scrubbed the kitchen floor with your bare hands . . . YOU are unique! You are PRECIOUS and PRICELESS! “For ye are bought with a price . . .” (I Corinthians 6:20) A price so high, we cannot even fathom it – the very SON OF GOD GAVE HIS LIFE FOR YOU!
Do not be downcast and discouraged! Do not wonder if this “journey of motherhood” is for you! It IS! If God has made you a mother, then it is His PLAN for you! His PERFECT plan! And no amount of dirty dishes is going to keep Him from using you in a very special way . . . “ Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us . . .” (Ephesians 3:20) “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” (I Corinthians 2:9) It is a PROMISE! Don’t give up hope! Things may seem dreary and bleak, but God has given you your talents for a reason, Dear Mama! God has made you WHO YOU ARE for a reason! No talent is a “waste” . . . No life is a “waste” . . .
Yes, there were days, last year, when I wondered if any part of the “real me” still existed . . . When I felt like motherhood was “closing in” on me . . . It was a bit overwhelming when we found out we were expecting Charlotte, just 7 months after our Cheyenne was born! But how VERY grateful I am that, “ . . . my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the .” (Isaiah 55:8)! What smiles and joy she has brought us! How delightful and precious she is! How MUCH I have ENJOYED my role as mother, this fourth time around! And what would our lives have been like without her?! How plain might my kitchen be through this month of August, were it not for a certain Baby’s “Butterfly Party”?! God had better plans – beautiful plans – “Butterfly Plans” . . . And amid the laundry, the dust, and the mess, God has “Butterfly Plans” in store, for you, too, Sweet Sister in Christ! Please don’t let your calling as “Mama” become something bitter or sour! Hold onto the joy that is found in our Savior! Hold onto the beauty of the life God has given to you! Trust HIM with your future! And remember that YOU are SPECIAL to GOD!