I’ve been around plenty of teenage girls through the years, enough to know that their emotions and passions often run high. They tend to sigh and drool over the “hottest” guy on TV. They know he’s the “love of their life” . . . until the next week, when a new movie comes out. . . What each girl may not realize is that they need to be praying for God to bring them a REAL man for REAL life!
If you’re single and on the lookout for a “George Clooney” or a “Tom Cruise”, you probably aren’t looking for a man who knows what true love is. Whether or not he’s the kind of guy who wears designer clothes and works out five times a week won’t matter when you’re one day diagnosed with breast cancer. Whether or not he has gorgeous tan skin and blue eyes won’t matter when you’re told you’ve just suffered a miscarriage. Is he FAITHFUL? Will he STAND BY YOU when your world is crumbling down? Real love is SO much more beautiful than in the movies! Real love sees you through real day-to-day life – the good times and the bad.
In I Corinthians 13, we find such a wonderful description of true love. “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up . . .” (13:4) A man who understands true love is a patient man. He doesn’t envy other men their positions or their jobs. He isn’t a conceited man who constantly listens to himself and talks about himself. Love “Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil . . .” (13:5) A loving man is not embarrassingly inappropriate or flirtatious. He isn’t selfish. He isn’t known for getting easily angry or holding grudges. “Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things . . .” (13:6-7) Does he enjoy doing wrong and watching others do wrong? Does he try to get you to do “just a little bit more” than your conscience permits? Or is he a man who will hope and dream with you? Will he endure whatever trials affect your marriage? “Charity never faileth . . .” (13:8) If a man loves you with true love, than he will not be the kind of man who will leave you. His love will not fail!
Elsewhere in Scripture, we see other qualifications for a good husband. Is he a Christian? II Corinthians 6:14 “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers . . .” One of the best quotes I ever heard in Bible college was, “Do not give your heart to anyone who has not first given his or her heart to God.” Ecclesiastes 4:9+10 tells us that, “Two are better than one . . . For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow . . .” A good husband is a man who will encourage his wife. He isn’t bent on constantly criticizing! When she falls, he helps to lift her up again! Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” Is this a man who is willing to make sacrifices for you? Would he protect you, or even lay down his life for you?
But what about attraction? Don’t good looks have anything to do with love at all? Genesis 2:24 declares, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Your heart and soul need to be one with your husband, as well as your body! God GIVES you an attraction for the one who is to be your soulmate! In Hebrews 13:4, the author tells us that when you marry someone, you share a kind of intimacy with them that you share with no other human being on earth. Never, ever throw that away! “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Can you completely and lovingly give yourself to this person? “The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” (I Corinthians 7:4) In Song of Solomon, the bride of the king of Israel says, “His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.” A godly man is handsome on the outside BECAUSE he has a clean, pure heart on the inside! He is ALTOGETHER LOVELY – through and through. This verse also teaches us that our husband should be our FRIEND. He needs to be someone we can share with – our lives, our memories, the secrets of our heart - everything!
I think we would all have to admit that the majority of the “cute guys” on television do not fit the description of the loving and godly man found in the Bible. Most of the time, the man at the cash register with the adorable dimples doesn’t either. While I was visiting my folks, this past week, I found myself surrounded by two sisters and some dear friends who are all still single. People tease and pester them about getting married, but the truth of the matter is, they’re each waiting for God to bring the RIGHT man into their lives! Dear single Sisters in Christ, do not give your heart or your body to a man who is not right for you! Be on your guard! Yes, BE PICKY! Not picky about eye color and muscle tone, but about the things that God says really matter! Wait for a man who knows what REAL love is! Do such men exist? Yes, they do! I know, because I’m blessed to be married to one!