Autumn, Please Don't Come

I mentioned in my book, “A Letter In Your Loss”, how grief can feel like the waves – the tide coming in and rolling out.  Both of our baby losses were in the month of December, and though the spring and summer have been “good to me”, I have recently been shaken by the realization that the colder months are coming around again.  In my prayers for grace to make it through the upcoming holidays, I composed this poem. Perhaps it will resonate with others who have walked the road of grief. 

Isaiah 26:3 – “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: 

because he trusteth in thee.”  

Autumn, Please Don’t Come

By Kristen Kelley

September 2018

I love the color pumpkin,

Apple red and gold,

The smell of Autumn’s flavors

Baking in the cold,

The leaf that catches sunlight,

Mountains quite ablaze,

Corn rows, saffron yellow,

Growing in a maze,

A glimpse of charcoal hunter,

Furry, fierce, and wild,

The calm of foggy morning

Sleeping like a child.

“Awake now, Golden Season!

Harvest, sing your song!”

And yet my heartbeat whispers,

“Autumn, please don’t come.”

The chill brings sorrow’s mem’ry

Piercing through my soul.

It hints of winter weeping

Tears beyond control,

Of trees soon leafless, grieving

Moaning in their pain,

Dark days and longer shadows,

Howling wind, and rain.

The rose sings, “Farwell, summer!

Garden days are o’er.

Be gone ye wildflowers;

Petals smile no more.

Arrive now blust’ry season.

Thunder beat your drum.”

And thus my heartbeat whispers,

“Autumn, please don’t come.”

I can’t hold sunshine captive;

Heavens blue and white;

Can’t keep October waiting,

Cowering in my fright. 

I need you, Dearest Jesus!

Savior, please draw near.

You’ve held me through each heartache,

Days both bleak and drear.

I’ve known your precious Presence;

Comfort, healing, peace.

I’ve felt Your gracious hand when

Sobbing would not cease.

This change I cannot welcome -

Nor sing sweet Harvest’s song -

But by God’s grace I’ll whisper,

“Come now, Autumn, come.”