“Oh, they say when you marry in June, You’re
a bride all your life . . .” Brandon and I will be celebrating our 2nd
wedding anniversary, this month – And so will many of our college friends, for
that matter! The summer of 2010 was the largest “wedding season” our alma mater
has ever seen! Two whole years of
married life . . . It’s hard to believe! I remember well, all of the planning
that went into that lovely wedding day – purchasing decorations, looking on the
internet for a modest wedding dress, finding a photo of the cake design I liked
best, using a computer spreadsheet to keep within my budget . . . and trying to
complete our marriage counseling books, over the phone with each other, because
we were in two separate states! SMILE!
Now I have friends who are nearing wedding days and engagements,
themselves. What advice to I have to
offer to these “bridal hopefuls”? READ! I
dare say that nothing helped my husband and I to prepare for marriage better
than those counseling books! Reading is
a powerful, powerful thing. Proverbs
24:27 says to, “Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in the
field; and afterwards build thine
house.” Prepare, first! Get your field ready! You can’t very well build a house
if the ground is uneven and covered with trees and brambles! You can’t hope to “build a home” with
someone, without laying a little groundwork!
The Bible often refers to “building”, when
speaking about the home. Proverbs 24:3-4
declares that, “Through wisdom is an
house builded; and by understanding
it is established: And by knowledge
shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” A
Christian young lady won’t know EVERYTHING there is to know about cooking, cleaning,
being a wife, and raising children, when she walks up those church steps and
takes her wedding vows – but she can HAVE A TEACHABLE SPIRIT! Those engagement
days aren’t only for holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes, and
dreaming about “Happily Ever Afters”! That’s your chance, Young Ladies! BEFORE he’s
coming home every night, hoping he’ll have a clean uniform for the next day!
BEFORE the baby’s screaming for HER supper as you’re trying to prepare YOURS! No, you won’t be able to learn it ALL, during
those months that you’re engaged, but you can certainly SEEK to “make it fit
for thyself in the field” (Proverbs 24:27).
Where do you start? Psalm 127:1 “Except the LORD build the house, they labour
in vain that build it . . .” Read your Bible! See what SCRIPTURE has to say
about a godly marriage! Make sure you’re on the same page with your future
spouse, by doing a Bible study together! Preparing For Marriage, by Gospel
Light Publishing, is EXCELLENT! Start copying down favorite family recipes.
Look up helpful blogs on subjects like couponing and saving money (my friend
Tanya has one that I definitely recommend – www.theeconomicalhomemaker.com ). TRULY TALK to the man you’re about to marry – not just
“I love you! I love you! I love you!”, a million times! Maturely discuss things
like ministry, finances, children, and intimacy expectations. Proverbs 14:1 tells us that, “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the
foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Be prepared TO BUILD!
If I could purchase just three books on
marriage, tie them up in ribbon, and give them at every bridal shower I ever
attended, I know exactly which three they would be. #1 Woman, The Completer, By Dr. Jack
Hyles . . . #2 Created To Be His Help Meet, By Debi Pearl . . . and #3 Love and Respect, By Dr.
Emerson Eggerichs. Are you already
married? One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard was to read at least ONE
book on having a Christian marriage, every year of your married life! Start
WHERE YOU ARE! Whether you are a
beautiful bride-to-be or a wife of 30 years, you can BEGIN TO BUILD!
I LOVED this one, Kristen. This was the best advice we got before we were married, also. We spend the time talking about and sharing money, getting used to each other's spending habits, and making rules about money (mostly for me). :) This has helped us in our marriage, because we didn't have to squabble about it. It's was already talked decided. I hope other young ladies will take your advice! :)
ReplyDeleteTanya